I'm sick of watching people sell you fantasies about transformation. Those glossy Instagram posts promising you can "manifest your dream life in 30 days" or "lose 20 pounds effortlessly" are complete nonsense.
Nobody wants to tell you the truth: Change is hard. Period. Full stop.
Whether you're trying to lose weight, build a business that doesn't drain your soul, or finally stop settling for relationships that make you feel small, it's all brutal work. Pretending otherwise is doing you a massive disservice.
The Lies We've Been Sold
I don't know why people keep lying to you, telling you transformation should be easy. Maybe it sells better. Maybe it's more comfortable to believe. But change is hard, and the sooner we acknowledge that, the sooner we can actually do something about it.
Right now, I'm on my own weight loss journey. I've lost almost 13 kilos, and let me tell you, it wasn't because I found some magical formula or secret hack. It was because I finally stopped waiting for it to get easier and started doing the work anyway.
Everyone knows what to do, right? Eat healthy, go to the gym, move your body, stop eating candy and chips. But knowing what to do isn't the problem. The problem is what happens when you're doing everything right and the scale won't budge. When you're posting content every day, following all the "expert" advice, and your business is still stuck at the same revenue level. I need to continue to lose weight to feel myself because I don’t want to use food as tool for each issue that I have.
That's when change is hard becomes more than just a cute saying on a motivational poster.
Why Your Brain Is Sabotaging Everything
Nobody prepared me for the mental warfare that comes with real transformation. Change is hard because every cell in your body is programmed to keep you exactly where you are.
When I hit my first plateau at 12 kilos down, something twisted happened in my brain. Instead of celebrating what I'd accomplished, I started self-sabotaging. Chips. Ice cream. Skipping workouts. The whole spiral.
Why? Because losing weight meant I was becoming someone my family didn't recognize. It meant outgrowing relationships that were built around shared complaints about our bodies. It meant taking up space in a way that felt terrifying and foreign.
The exact same pattern shows up when your business starts growing. You launch an offer, and it actually sells, maybe you hit your first 5K month. Suddenly, you're terrified. What if they want results? What if I can't deliver? What if they discover I don't know what I'm doing?
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So you sabotage. You don't follow up on leads. You underprice your next offer. Furthermore, you hide behind "perfectionism" instead of scaling what's already working. You find ways to stay small because small feels safer than successful.
How to shift your identity starts with understanding this: your subconscious mind sees every positive change as a threat to your survival. You're not lacking willpower, you're fighting millions of years of evolutionary programming.
Change is hard because success feels more dangerous than failure when you're operating from survival mode.
The Identity Shift That Changes Everything
I bought new workout sets last week. Not because my old ones didn't fit, they were actually too big now. I bought them because I needed to practice being the woman who deserves nice things.
This is how to shift your identity at the cellular level. You don't wait until you've reached your goal to start acting like the person who has what you want. You become her now, in the messy middle, when nothing makes sense and everything feels impossible.
The woman with the body I want? She doesn't hide in baggy clothes waiting to "earn" the right to look good. She invests in pieces that make her feel confident today.
The entrepreneur with the seven-figure business I'm building? She doesn't wait until she feels ready to share her knowledge. She shows up imperfectly, voice shaking, and serves anyway. Not only that, but she doesn't wait until her content is perfect to scale, she improves while she grows.
Building and scaling your online business requires the same identity shift as losing 30 kilos. You don't wait until you feel "professional enough" to charge premium prices. You don't wait until you have 10K followers to create high-value offers. You become the entrepreneur who deserves success before the external validation arrives.
How to shift your identity means making decisions from your future self, not your current circumstances.
When I record content now, I'm not thinking about the 1,000 people who might judge me. I'm thinking about the one woman who needs to hear that change is hard for everyone, not just her.
The Plateau Principle Nobody Talks About
Every transformation has plateaus. In weight loss, in scaling your online business, in relationships, there are always periods where you're doing everything right and seeing zero movement.
Most people quit during these plateaus. They think it means the method isn't working. They think it means they should pivot, change strategies, or try something completely different.
At 15 kilos down, my body freaked out and held onto every gram for dear life. At my first 10K month in business, my nervous system went into overdrive and I couldn't make decisions for weeks. When I was scaling from 2-10 sales per month to consistent 20+ sales, everything felt stuck for three months straight.
Change is hard specifically because of these plateaus. They're not signs that you're failing, they're signs that your body, brain, and business are integrating the changes you've already made.
How to shift your identity during plateaus means continuing the behaviors even when you can't see the results. Especially when you can't see the results.
The woman I'm becoming doesn't stop going to the gym because the scale is being stubborn. The entrepreneur I'm becoming doesn't stop creating content because this week's post didn't go viral. She doesn't abandon her business model because she's been stuck at the same revenue for two months.
When you're building and scaling your online business, plateaus look like posting consistently for months with the same engagement. Creating valuable content that gets 50 views while someone else's random video gets 50K. Having the same 500 email subscribers for six months while putting out your best work.
The difference between women who break through and women who quit is what they do during these invisible months. Most people change strategies. Successful people double down on what's working and improve the execution.
The Daily Actions That Compound
People want to know the secret. The hack. The shortcut that will make change is hard into "change is effortless."
The secret is there is no secret. There are only daily choices made by someone who has decided that her future matters more than her comfort.
How to shift your identity happens in the mundane moments:
Choosing the salad when everyone else orders pasta, not because you're depriving yourself, but because the woman you're becoming prioritizes how she feels over momentary pleasure.
Recording the video even though your voice sounds weird today, not because you're forcing yourself, but because the entrepreneur you're becoming understands that consistency creates confidence, not the other way around.
Launching the offer even though your sales page isn't perfect, not because you're rushing, but because the business owner who scales knows that done is better than perfect.
Raising your prices even though you're scared people won't pay, not because you're greedy, but because the entrepreneur building a sustainable business values her expertise appropriately.
Investing in the course even though money is tight, not because you're being reckless, but because the version of you with the seven-figure business invests in her growth without apology.
Saying no to the client who wants to pay half your rate, not because you don't need money, but because the business owner you're becoming refuses to devalue her worth for anyone's budget.
Setting boundaries with family members who want to keep you small, not because you don't love them, but because the woman you're becoming refuses to shrink for other people's comfort.
Change is hard becomes manageable when you stop making decisions from where you are and start making them from where you're going.
The Fear That Comes with Success
Nobody warns you about this part. Every time you level up, terror follows.
I remember my first month hitting 20 kilos down. Instead of celebration, I felt exposed. Visible. Like everyone was watching to see if I could maintain it.
When my business hit its first 15K month, I didn't feel successful. I felt like an imposter who was about to be found out. When I started getting 50+ sales per month instead of my usual 10, I panicked. What if I can't fulfill all these orders? What if people expect more from me now?
Change is hard because success is scarier than failure when you're not used to it. Failure is familiar. Success means you have to become someone you've never been before.
Scaling your online business brings fears that weight loss never prepared me for. What if my audience realizes I'm not as expert as they think? What if my content stops resonating? What if I can't handle the pressure of higher revenue months?
How to shift your identity around success means learning to feel safe in your own expansion. It means practicing deserving good things before you achieve them.
I had to literally practice saying "I deserve to be healthy" in the mirror before my body would cooperate with losing weight. I had to practice saying "I deserve to be wealthy" before my business would grow past the point where I felt comfortable.
Your nervous system needs evidence that it's safe to be successful before it will allow you to maintain success.
The Environment Problem
Your environment is either supporting your transformation or sabotaging it. There's no neutral.
When I decided to lose weight, I had to have uncomfortable conversations with my family about not keeping junk food in the house. When I decided to build a serious business, I had to stop spending time with friends who treated my goals like hobbies.
When I decided to scale my online business beyond just "making some extra money," I had to disappoint people who preferred when I was struggling. Family members who used to relate to my financial stress suddenly felt uncomfortable when I started talking about revenue goals and business investments.
Change is hard because it requires you to disappoint people who benefit from you staying the same.
Your husband might feel threatened when you start getting confident in your body.
Your friends might feel judged when you stop complaining and start taking action.
Your family might feel abandoned when you prioritize your business growth over their comfort.
Building and scaling your online business means saying no to social events because you have content to create. It means investing money in business tools while others think you should save every penny. It means talking about your goals when others want you to "be realistic."
How to shift your identity means accepting that some people won't like the new version of you. And choosing to become her anyway.
I post content every day now, even though some people think it's "too much."
I work out every day, even though some people think I'm "obsessed."
I invest in my business, even though some people think I'm "wasting money."
I charge what I'm worth, even though some people think my prices are "too high."
The woman I'm becoming doesn't need everyone's approval to exist. The entrepreneur I'm becoming doesn't need permission to scale.
The Compound Effect of Small Actions
I've been documenting my transformation for months now. Not the highlight reel, the real stuff. The days when I ate the chocolate. The weeks when my business didn't grow. The moments when I wanted to quit everything.
What I've noticed is that change is hard but it's not impossible. It's the accumulation of tiny decisions made by someone who has decided that her future is non-negotiable.
Every day I choose to eat the protein instead of the pastry is a vote for the woman I'm becoming.
Every day I post content instead of scrolling is a vote for the business I'm building.
Every day I work on my offer instead of consuming more courses is a vote for the entrepreneur who scales instead of stays stuck.
Every day I set boundaries instead of people-pleasing is a vote for the life I want.
The scale might not move for three weeks, but my habits are consistent. My business might plateau at the same revenue for two months, but my content creation doesn't stop. My email list might stay the same size for weeks, but I keep showing up for the people who are there.
Change is hard, but consistency in the face of no visible results is what separates the women who transform from the women who try.
How to shift your identity is understanding that you become what you consistently do, not what you occasionally achieve.
Change is hard, but consistency is harder. And the woman who can do hard things consistently gets to live the life that most people only dream about.
The Truth About Timelines
I need to tell you something that might hurt: your transformation is probably going to take longer than you want it to.
The Instagram version of my story would show you the before and after photos with some inspirational caption about "never giving up." But the real version involves hundreds of days when I wanted to quit, dozens of times when I did quit, and countless moments when I wondered if I was delusional for believing this was possible.
Building and scaling your online business doesn't happen in the timelines the gurus promise. Most of them took years to build their "overnight success." The difference is they didn't quit when it took longer than expected.
Change is hard because it doesn't happen on your timeline. It happens on life's timeline, which includes setbacks, plateaus, and lessons disguised as failures.
How to shift your identity means falling in love with the process instead of being obsessed with the outcome. It means measuring your success by your consistency, not your results.
The woman I'm becoming isn't someone who achieved her goals quickly. She's someone who refused to quit when it got hard. She's someone who kept going when everyone else would have stopped.
And that's the woman I want to be more than I want to be skinny or wealthy or successful by anyone else's definition.
Your Next Steps
If you're tired of playing small, if you're ready to stop waiting for the "perfect time" or the "right mood," here's what I want you to do:
Pick one habit that aligns with who you want to become
Do it for 30 days, even when it's imperfect
Journal about the resistance that comes up
Celebrate every single day you show up
Remember: change is hard, but you're harder. You're stronger than your excuses, braver than your fears, and more deserving than your doubts.
The woman you're becoming is already inside you. She's just waiting for you to stop hiding and start showing up.
How to shift your identity isn't about becoming someone completely different. It's about becoming more fully yourself - the version of you that's been waiting patiently for permission to emerge.
So give her that permission. Change is hard, but you've got this.
Ready to dive deeper into transformation that actually lasts? Join my newsletter at mademoisellemindset.substack.com for real talk about building the life and business you actually want, no fairy tales, just practical magic.
See you soon
XOXO
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