Why Are We Afraid to Stand Out When Social Media Is Saturated with Sameness?
How to Stand Out in a Sea of Sameness by Infusing Your Unique Personality into Your Brand?
Welcome to Empire Exilrs Chronicle Episode 3
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I used to be terrified of revealing my true self on social media. Hours would slip away as I agonized over crafting the perfect hook, searching for the ideal framework, or carefully editing my words to avoid controversy. All because I desperately wanted to fit in. As an entrepreneur, your ultimate goal is to generate income from your passion. But when you pour your heart into content - be it videos, articles, or posts - and nobody seems to be watching, it's so easy to feel like you're doing everything wrong.
It's like being trapped in an ocean of sameness, where every piece of content follows some unspoken formula designed to maximize engagement. Being different? That feels downright scary, especially when you try something unique and are met with crickets. There's this constant tug-of-war between being yourself and trying to fit the mold.
Sure, countless business gurus preach about the importance of "being yourself" and infusing your unique personality into your brand. But let's get real - when you're struggling to build that coveted, committed community that trusts and supports your vision, it's so tempting to just conform to whatever seems to be working for everyone else.
When you first dive into your entrepreneurial journey, your mind races with strategies. What framework can I use to maximize conversions? What freebie or masterclass will attract more clients? What offer do I need to create to grow my business? Before you know it, you've become a walking encyclopedia of strategies, turning best practices into rigid laws. We lock ourselves in this cage because we're desperate for clients and growth.
At the same time, we're watering down our personalities. Every time we sit down to create content, we spend hours scrolling through other people's posts and offers. When we finally start writing, our own ideas seem to evaporate. What should take 5 minutes stretches into hours or even days. And for what? Two likes? We blame ourselves, convinced it's just not possible for us to have the life we dream of.
We get stuck in this hyper-masculine energy - always doing, planning, and obsessing over strategies. Meanwhile, we silence our feminine energy - the source of our intuition, creativity, and inspiration. We forget how to be inspired by others without losing ourselves in the process.
The Strategy Trap
We spend so much time trying to copy others instead of being inspired and infusing our own personality into our work. It's like we forget how to flip that switch and let our true selves shine through. Just look at some of the big influencers today - there's often a blurry line between copying and being inspired.
Take Nora Smith and Onezwa Mbola, for example. These two creators are in the same niche - cooking and simple lifestyle.
They both cook from scratch, but Nora markets herself as a tradwife. Nora's got some advantages over Onezwa - light skin privilege, a successful model husband. Onezwa, a beautiful South African, has fewer followers and can't even monetize in her country. She noticed Nora commenting on her posts but also seemingly using her work - it felt like Nora was copying her recipes. But here's the thing: most people aren't copying, they're just inspired. No one owns a recipe, right?
This week, Nora Smith did a campaign with Marc Jacobs, and people are saying her team was inspired by Mary Korlin Downs. Mary had done two examples of how she'd create a marketing campaign for Marc Jacobs back in December, plus a cooking video. I gotta say, I think Nora handled the scandal (if we can even call it that) pretty well.
It makes me wonder: is it even possible to be truly authentic on social media when everyone's getting inspired by or copying each other? Or is this just part of the game? If you're being inspired or even copied, doesn't that mean you're getting noticed? That you're making an impact, even as a small creator, writer, or entrepreneur?
Let me share a little story with you. Four years ago, I was working in the emotional eating niche. I didn't have many followers on Instagram - less than 500. But I noticed something weird: bigger coaches were either copying my posts or attacking me. I was so frustrated because I couldn't understand why they'd do that. But then it hit me - they knew who I was. And I realized, if my ideas were spreading to bigger audiences, my dream clients would eventually find me.
So, let's tackle the elephant in the room: What Does It Really Mean to "Be Yourself"?
Ever wonder why, when you use your favorite coach's framework, you don't get the same results? It's because you're not infusing it with your own personality. I've noticed with almost all my clients, they forget themselves when creating content. They obsess over strategy and their dream client, but forget about themselves. The result? Boring content that just ticks boxes in some 5-step framework.
Why do they do this? Because they don't really know who they are. When I ask "Who are you?", they rattle off roles: mom, coach, wife, daughter. But you're so much more than that. You need to dig deeper, discover who you really are to create content with your unique twist. We get inspired from everywhere, sure. But there's a fine line between inspiration and straight-up copying. I get it, we all want to monetize and live off our business. But personally? I'd rather have a community who loves the real me than wear a mask just to please people.
At its core, being yourself means embracing authenticity. Sounds simple, right? Yet in all my years coaching entrepreneurs and content creators, I've found this to be one of the toughest things to actually do, especially for introverts.
Why is it so challenging to be ourselves?
Think back to your childhood. Remember the pure joy of just existing? Laughing without holding back, expressing yourself without a second thought? As we grow up, society starts molding us, teaching us to fit into neat little boxes and suppress parts of ourselves that don't fit the status quo. This pressure creates a dangerous trap.
In our hyper-connected world of perfectly curated Instagram feeds and polished YouTube videos, it's so easy to put on a digital mask. We create these personas we think will be accepted, applauded, and ultimately, make us money. But let me ask you this: Have you ever felt like you're living in a gilded cage? Getting praise and likes for a version of you that doesn't really reflect who you are inside? This chase for external validation is exhausting and, in the end, it's just not sustainable. It's time to break free and embrace your authentic self – quirks, flaws, and all.
Did you know that the emotions we squash as kids often turn into habits that shape how we act as adults? Before we hit seven, our brains are like sponges, soaking up all the emotional patterns around us. If we're taught to bottle up our feelings early on, we learn to push them down, and boom - it becomes a core part of who we are.
Building Trust and Leadership
The result? We turn into people-pleasers, losing ourselves in the process of trying to make everyone else happy. It's exhausting, right?
Here's what happens when we're not true to ourselves:
1. The People-Pleaser Trap: You spend your whole life trying to meet others' expectations, only to find yourself totally lost when you finally want to break free.
2. Procrastination Paralysis: When you're not in sync with your true self, you'll come up with a million excuses to avoid chasing your goals and dreams.
3. The Mask of Conformity: You put on this fake face for the world, never letting your real personality shine through.
4. The Copycat Syndrome: Instead of developing your own unique voice and style, you end up imitating others who seem successful.
5. Toxic Attraction: Being fake often attracts equally fake or toxic people into your life and business.
Now, let's talk about why authenticity in content creation matters more than ever. For entrepreneurs and coaches, creating a distinct personal brand is crucial. Copying others doesn't just water down your unique value - it can land you in hot water legally and ethically. Imagine getting a cease-and-desist letter from another coach because your content is too similar to theirs - talk about a nightmare! Plus, when you're not being real, your audience can smell it a mile away. They might see you as just another generic blog or info source instead of a trusted leader and mentor. This lack of connection often results in followers who ask endless questions but never actually do anything with your advice.
To create a community that buys your stuff, even when they don't know all the details of your program, you need to build trust and act like a leader. Being a leader means taking responsibility, showing who you are no matter what, and sharing your opinions. Creating a brand or business isn't just about followers or sales, especially if you're building a personal brand - you need to show your personality. You don't have to be super bold if that's not your thing, or super soft either. You need to find ways to amp up your own personality to attract your dream clients. Become your own "it girl" through my formula of 5 feminine connections.
Focus on the area where you struggle the most. If you can't tap into your feminine energy, you're probably stuck in masculine mode, which shuts down your intuition and creativity. It's time to find that balance and let your true self shine through.
Conclusion:
In a world where it's easy to get lost in strategies and imitation, embracing your authenticity is the key to standing out. Remember, your unique experiences, perspectives, and quirks are what make you valuable to your audience. By infusing your true self into your content and business practices, you're not just building a brand – you're creating a movement that's true to your core values and vision.
The path to authenticity might feel uncomfortable at first, but it's the surest route to long-term success and fulfillment in your entrepreneurial journey. Don't be afraid to let your true personality shine through in your content. Your dream clients are out there, waiting for the real you.
So, take a moment to reflect: Where can you inject more of your authentic self into your business? How can you balance strategy with intuition? Remember, the world doesn't need another copy – it needs the unique value that only you can provide. Embrace your authenticity, and watch as your business and community flourish.
This is the 7th post of the Substack challenge Sparkle on Substack 24 Essay Club run by Claire Venus from Sparkle on Substack. Please visit the linked page above to join!
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